Toronto District School Board’s plan for peace re sharia-compliant schools

Re the Mosqueterias in sharia-compliant school districts, like the biggest school board in Canada: A proposed

Draft message from the Toronto District School Board to students:

To: students, parents, ratepayers

Date: [tbd]

Subject: Complaints received re sharia schools

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We feel your pain.

Ever aiming at new levels of balance and diversity, we plan to address the complaints by shortly instituting "Spirituality for gay/lesbian/transgendered/queer/exploring/uncertain teens," proving them with appropriate worship and clergy counselling in previously public space.

[Politician: Good! Balance out the only lobbies that matter.]

We will, of course, continue to suppress observant Christian and Jewish teens who want access to spiritual counselling, lest their harmful culture is propagated. They could end up concluding that some lifestyles are bad for them and that they have the power to decide for themselves.

We want to take this opportunity to reassure our whole community that that goes against everything we believe here at the Board. Fact and rationality are “out the window” now, in favour of diversity studies, post-modernism, deconstruction, victimhood, and plunging IQs.

[Union head: Great! More shight, less fear of an “incompetence” evaluation. Bring it on.]

We pledge to promote any weirdness or hatred whatever, as long as you think you can’t help yourself or your family is forcing you to. We are especially supportive if someone will kill you if you don't go along with the [shight]. We’ll help you adjust to the terror.

[Editor: How did “shight” get in here? We certainly need a better word than that. How about “life affirmation”? Too woo-woo? Wait! Try “peace amid diversity”? Yes, that’s it! Put it in!]

Finally, we promise to continue to shake down the public to support your oppression. Human Rights Commissions have the authority to persecute anyone who thinks you should have a second look before you jump. They've gone after very prominent Canadians, so there is no fear that you will ever get out from under Trudeaupia.

[Recommendation from equity reviewer O’Leary, just before slitting her throat: To drive the point home, make the little serfs study Canadian Icon Margaret Atwood’s horror novel about “Gilead,” a mythical theocracy in the southern United States. We can’t permit the young swine to realize that theocracy is happening here, and not there. For effect, throw in another compulsory Atwood three-loon special, will you? Just to teach them to ALWAYS point the finger abroad, to distract attention from what's happening at home.]

Note: Everything above is fiction except for the facts.